


Bro-Dave Sadstuck

by oddlyUnique



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Sadstuck, bro strider - Freeform, dave strider - Freeform, davekat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 14:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9825236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddlyUnique/pseuds/oddlyUnique
Summary: turns into Davekat fluff at the end. Just a short sadstuck story lol. enjoy!!!TW: self-harm, depression, attempted suicide





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I don't know how to do the trolls WHATSOEVER so sorry if they rly rly rly suck XD I tried my best though lol. Enjoy!!!

Dave had seemed a little... off since he and Rose first arrived on the meteor with everyone else. It wasn't noticeable at first, but Rose began to notice that something was amiss with him. She tried confronting him about it, but he simply shrugged it off with his usual Strider reactions/actions.

After a while, Dave started to be by himself a little bit more. When he would come back, he seemed tired and definitely not his usual self. Soon enough, some of the trolls started to notice as well (mainly Terezi, Kanaya, and Karkat). But still, he brushed off their comments of concern, acting like it was no big deal, like he always did. But, in reality, he was slowly breaking inside, slowly losing himself in the shadows of his grief.

Dave blamed himself for Bro's death. Thought it was his fault that he wasn't there to save him. Then again, Dave always believed that he was never a hero. Secretly, he looked up to Bro a little bit, what with Bro's strength and speed and impassiveness. It was something Dave always wanted to achieve, but could never gain.

At the same time as his grieving, the mirrored effect of his doomed selves dying—he could feel the exact pain that they do—simply made it worse. Whenever he would feel that pain coming, he would flashstep to a room no one explored yet so the others wouldn't know. He didn't want them to worry about him. But, god, did it hurt. Depending on what the pain was, Dave would keel over in pain and try not to cry out at how much it hurt. He was actually surprised he himself didn't die from the pain. Must be because he was the Alpha.

Eventually, however, Dave finally broke completely. The grief had been building up for weeks—maybe even months, Dave lost track—and suddenly burst out of him like a giant explosion of pain and sorrow and anger. He was pacing one of the rooms, muttering to himself that it was his fault, only his fault. He didn't notice that Karkat had stopped in the doorway and was watching him anxiously. Finally, Dave let out a cry of anger and flung a chair at one of the walls, watching it splinter into pieces. Breathing heavily, he gripped the nearest table, trying to steady himself and trying to stop himself from breaking down crying. The pain in his chest wouldn't go away... 'Dammit, go away, please, I can't—'

"DAVE?" Karkat said hesitantly, breaking Dave out of his daze.

Dave quickly looked over, eyes widening underneath his shades. "Go away..." he muttered, taking a step back. "I-I'm fine, just go."

"DAVE... WHAT'S WRONG?" Karkat took a step closer.

"I said go away, dammit!" Dave yelled suddenly. "Just fucking leave me alone, for fuck's sake!" The whole room went utterly quiet. When Dave looked up, he realized that Rose, Kanaya, and Terezi were standing behind Karkat now. He swore under his breath, shook his head, then flashstepped past them. He didn't care where he was going. He just had to get out of there. He felt like he couldn't breathe, and the weird pain in his chest wouldn't go away.

When Dave came to a stop, he found himself in a corridor no one's been in before. He felt himself breathing hard, like he couldn't catch his breath—which he couldn't. By this point, the pain in his chest grew worse. He let out a choked-back sob and fell to his knees, holding his head in his hands. He couldn't cry, it wasn't brave, it wasn't what a Strider does. Dave let out another angry shout and flung his shades against a nearby wall, ignoring the sound of it shattering and breaking.

He got out something from his captchalogue he hadn't used in a very long time. He promised Rose he would stop, but—he needed to get the pain out of his chest. He didn't want it there, it didn't belong there. He pulled up his god tier sleeves and pressed the razor against one of his wrists as hard as he could, right next to his old self-harm scars, biting his tongue from the pain of it. But it was worth it. He needed this. But it wasn't enough. He turned the razor sideways and slowly made a long gash from his wrist to halfway up his lower arm, watching as it bled with a nearly emotionless look. But the pain and grief was clear in his eyes.

It still wasn't enough. With a shaking hand, he took the razor in his other hand and did the same to his other arm, letting out a long pained whine as he tilted his head back. His breathing started to come in short, rasping gasps. The pain still wouldn't leave. It wasn't enough, Dave didn't deserve this. Bro didn't deserve this.

Dave should have been there. He could have saved him. He could have stopped Jack Noir from killing him. But, no. Dave was too much of a wuss to do anything. He started crying, letting his blood drip into small puddles by his side. Eventually, the cries turned into short, gasping sobs. His severely bleeding wrists wasn't enough, still. The pain in his chest was still there. Dave's eyes clouded over as a thought blossomed in his mind: if he killed himself, he could see Bro again and apologize for not being there by his side when he died. They could make amends. They could be a family again.

Shaking hard, Dave got out his katana, the one Bro gave him so many years ago—or was it even a few months? Still sobbing, and still with eyes clouded over, Dave held the sword in both hands, ignoring the fact that the blade was cutting into one of his palms, then slowly but deeply cutting a large gash against his chest. He let a scream of pain, all of his grief exploding out of him at once, then everything went black.

Rose glanced towards the hallway, eyes widening. "No..." she whispered, realizing what Dave might do, then quickly clutched Kanaya's arm. "We need to find Dave. Now!" she said urgently, looking at her girlfriend with despair.

"Why? What's Wrong?" Kanaya frowned a bit, not understanding.

"Did you not hear that??" Rose let out an exasperated sound and looked around. "Do you not see this?! This was Dave's doing! Something wrong with him, and I believe it is something to do with the death of his elder brother. Please, we need to find him before he does something rash—" She broke off at the sound of her ecto-brother screaming.

Karkat stopped what he was doing and looked up, his face emotionless for one. "THE FUCK WAS THAT?" He glanced at Rose, saw her look of despair, then realized what exactly it was. "FUCK. ROSE IS RIGHT. WE HAVE TO FIND HIM."

Terezi glanced at Vriska, who had come into the room earlier. "Fiiiiiiiine, I'll contact Aradia, god," Vriska grumbled, getting out her handheld husktop and texted the burgundy-blooded troll, informing her on the situation.

Instantly, Aradia teleported into the room, tilting her head to the side. "what is it?" she asked curiously.

Rose instantly walked up to him. "I need you to find Dave. Now, please, it's urgent."

"the human time player? sure!" She teleported away, saw Dave's motionless and bleeding form, then quickly came back, eyes wide. "i think he's tried t0 kill himself! if he's really dead, can we have a c0rpse party f0r him?" she said with a never-ending grin.

Rose sobbed a bit and quickly covered her mouth to stop herself. Kanaya stepped forward, a hand on her matesprit's shoulder. "Where Is He, Aradia? Show Us The Way."

Aradia nodded. "h0ld hands, i'll telep0rt y0u there." They did as she asked—with some reluctance from Vriska, of course—and the happy-go-lucky Maid of Time teleported them to the room Dave was unconscious in.

Rose let out a scream and quickly ran to Dave's side. "NO! No, Dave, please, you promised me you wouldn't, please, ohmygod, Dave, no. No no no noo..." she sobbed, rolling him onto his back gently and resting his head in her lap. Kanaya was instantly by her side, trying to soothe her.

Terezi stood in the doorway, eyes wide. This was the "cool kid" she knew. This was Dave as he truly was—weak. She shook her head and looked away, ashamed. Vriska patted Terezi's arm. She knew how that felt.

Karkat was the only one who didn't do anything for a moment. He knew this all too well. It was something he tried to do once, but his lusus had stopped him before anything else could happen to him. After a moment or two, he walked to Dave's side. "PROP HIM UP," he said calmly, looking at Rose. Karkat got out a bandage set he carried in his own sylladex, holding it in his hand. Rose nodded and gently moved Dave so he was leaning against her. Then Karkat got to work.

"DAMMIT DAVE, IF YOU WERE REALLY SO DAMN TROUBLED BY THE FACT THAT YOUR HUMAN GUARDIAN WAS DEAD, YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME. OR ROSE, SHE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW THIS FEELS MORE THAN KANAYA OR I DO." Karkat talked to himself as he gently stripped Dave of his shirt, being careful of Dave's wounds, and resting it on the ground. "I KNOW HOW THIS FEELS THOUGH. FEELING LIKE YOU'RE WORTHLESS. I KNOW IT ALL TOO WELL, ACTUALLY. ESPECIALLY SINCE I USED TO HARM MYSELF AS WELL."

At that, Kanaya quickly rushed Terezi and Vriska out of the room before they could hear anymore. Aradia left a while ago, thinking that was all they needed from her (also sad because she didn't get to have a corpse party). After she shut the door, she glanced back at Karkat, watching him a bit worriedly. She was the only one who truly knew what Karkat used to do to himself. Maybe Gamzee and Sollux knew as well, but she didn't know for sure.

"I USED TO THINK I WAS WORTHLESS BECAUSE OF MY BLOOD COLOR. I WAS A MUTANT, OF COURSE I WAS WORTHLESS, RIGHT? SO I HARMED MYSELF, WANTING TO BLEED DROP AFTER DROP OUT OF MY SYSTEM UNTIL MY BLOODPUSHER DIDN'T WORK ANYMORE. BUT WHEN I MET KANAYA, SHE HELPED ME STOP. SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT MY BLOOD. I THANK HER FOR THAT WHEN I CAN—AND WHEN WE'RE ALONE, FUCKING OBVIOUSLY." Karkat was wrapping the bandage around Dave's chest as he spoke, not looking up at either of the two girls. "BUT THIS ISN'T WHAT I EXPECTED FROM YOU, STRIDER. YOU'RE STRONGER THAN FUCKING THIS." He sighed a bit and shook his head. "TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF ISN'T WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WHEN YOU CAN'T GET THE GRIEF OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM. TRUST ME. I FUCKING KNOW.

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FELT WHEN I REALIZED THAT EVERYONE I WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING PROTECT WAS DEAD? I BLAMED MYSELF, THOUGHT THAT IF I WAS THERE WHEN THEY DIED THAT I COULD HAVE SAVED THEM. MAYBE THAT'S WHAT YOU THOUGHT WHEN YOU WERE GRIEVING, I WOULDN'T FUCKING KNOW SINCE YOU NEVER TOLD ME A DAMN THING. BUT I KNOW THIS, DAVE GOD-FUCKING-DAMN STRIDER: IT WAS NEVER MY GODDAMN FAULT. AND THE DEATH OF YOUR GUARDIAN WASN'T YOURS. AND IT NEVER WILL BE." At this point, he was wrapping the bandages tightly around Dave's arms. Dave's breathing was slowly returning to normal. Before, his breathing was raspy, but now it was steadying, meaning that the bandages were doing their job. When he finished, he gently took Dave from Rose and rested the human's head on his lap, saying nothing for a while, one had resting on Dave's white-blonde hair.

Kanaya knelt by Rose and said softly. "Karkat will take care of Dave for now, I promise. We should go..." Rose nodded slowly and let Kanaya lead her out of the room, leaving Karkat alone with the unconscious Strider.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME, DAMMIT... I COULD HAVE GOTTEN YOU THROUGH THIS. I'M PRETTY SURE YOU RUINED YOUR MATESPRITSHIP WITH TEREZI, IF IT WASN'T DONE ALREADY. I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS. I WOULDN'T HAVE CARED IF YOU TOLD ME, THOUGH YOU PROBABLY THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE FLIPPED MY SHIT IF I FOUND OUT YOU OR HER ENDED YOUR RELATIONSHIP. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, STRIDER? I DON'T CARE. I TRULY FUCKING DON'T. IT'S YOUR BUSINESS, NOT MINE." Karkat's voice grew soft as he started to gently stroke Dave's soft hair. "IN FACT, I—I CARE ABOUT YOU DAVE. A LOT. IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE THAT, BUT, DAMMIT, I DO. ONE WOULD SAY I ACTUALLY LIKE YOU. AND WANNA KNOW SOMETHING? THAT SOMEONE IS PROBABLY DAMN RIGHT. IT WAS HARD TO SAY HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU BEFORE, BUT NOW THAT YOU'VE GONE AND DONE A SHITTY FUCKING THING LIKE THIS TO YOURSELF, I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I REALLY DO CARE ABOUT YOU. LIKE HOW ROSE CARES ABOUT KANAYA AND VICE VERSA."

Karkat shut his eyes tight and let out a long, shuddering breath. "YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME ABOUT THIS, DAVE. I WOULD HAVE ALWAYS HELPED YOU THROUGH THIS, IT'S WHAT I DO. I HELP MY FRIENDS. AT LEAST, I FUCKING TRY TO... DAMMIT, THIS IS HARD TO EXPLAIN—" The troll broke off as he felt something clutch onto his shirt. He quickly opened his grey and yellow eyes to see Dave's red and white ones looking up at him.

"You talk too much," Dave said softly, then yanked Karkat down and kissed him. Karkat froze for a moment, then quickly pushed Dave back.

"WHAT THE FUCK, STRIDER! YOU'RE—YOU'RE DELIRIOUS, YOU NEED TO SLEEP," Karkat said in protest, shocked that Dave actually did such a thing.

"I may or may not be—" Dave coughed a bit, wincing at the pain that blossomed across his torso. "Fuck that hurts..."

"YOUR FUCKING FAULT, DAVE."

"Whatever..." Dave shut his eyes again, slowly breathing in and out to steady himself.

"HOW... HOW MUCH DID YOU HEAR?" Karkat asked a bit hesitantly.

"Just the last part, probably." Dave smirked up at Karkat. "Took you long enough to admit it, bro." He paused for a moment, his smirk fading. He sighed and looked away. "I'm... I'm sorry... You're right, I should have gone to someone about this. I'm a fucking idiot like always—"

"SHUT UP." Karkat glared down at Dave.

"But—"

"I SAID FUCKING SHUT UP, DAVE STRIDER. YOU'RE NOT AN IDIOT. YOU'RE SMART, AND PERFECT, AND—AND..." Karkat stopped himself before he could say anything else.

Dave slowly sat up, ignoring that pain. He looked Karkat dead in the eyes, then gently leaned in and kissed him again, this time softer than before. He lingered, an offering of acceptance. Karkat's face flushed a bit and he nervously kissed Dave back, his hand slipped to Dave's waist to steady himself. Dave eventually pulled back, his own cheeks flushed. It had only been a few seconds, but it felt like ages with that kiss. And, damn, you know both of them liked it.

"So... what now..?" Dave said after a bit, clearing his throat and tearing his gaze away, trying to ignore the puddles of his blood on the ground.

"WE GET BACK TO THE OTHERS. I'M PRETTY SURE ROSE IS GOING TO LECTURE YOUR ASS OFF ABOUT ATTEMPTING SUICIDE." That wasn't what Dave meant, and Karkat knew it.

Dave scoffed a bit, shrugging slightly. "I don't doubt it." He sighed and instinctively raised his hands to adjust his shades, then remembered that he wasn't wearing them anymore. "Shit."

Karkat stood up, picked up the broken shades, and then handed them to Dave. "HERE. UNLESS YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN WEARING BROKEN SHADES. BECAUSE I DOUBT THAT'S "COOL" OR WHATEVER," he said, sitting back down next to Dave.

"Nah... I'll live with it." He put the shades back on, ignoring the fact that they were very crooked on his face. Karkat stifled a small laugh, rolling his eyes. Dave noticed and smirked a bit. "I guess we should get going, then."

Karkat nodded. "YEAH. COME ON, I'LL HELP YOU UP." He slipped an arm around Dave's waist, letting Dave put his arm around Karkat's shoulder. Slowly, Karkat stood up, pulling Dave to his feet. Dave winced a bit, but eventually got to his feet. "YOU DON'T NEED ME TO FUCKING CARRY YOU, DO YOU? BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY IN FUCKING HELL I'M GOING TO DO THAT."

"Fuck you, Karkat, obviously I don't need that much damn help. God." But Dave didn't remove his arm. He felt worn out, and was afraid that if he let go, he would fall to the ground. Karkat noticed and nodded, then led him back to everyone else.

As promised, Dave got his long-ass lecture by Rose about trying to kill himself, which was followed by a tight hug and a promise that he wouldn't do it ever again. This time, he wouldn't break that promise. After, he let Rose and Karkat help him to a soft pile of sweaters and Dave prominently passed out, sleeping for a good 13 hours. At least it was a bit more peaceful around the meteor. Rose and Karkat took turns watching over him as he slept. Neither of them got any sleep of their own, but they didn't care. Kanaya couldn't even convince them to get some sleep.

After a while, Dave opened up to Rose and Karkat about how he felt about bro's death, and they helped him through it as much as they could. Eventually, Dave was back to his usual ironic self, and everything was normal again—well, partially. There was still a bit of hesitance in between Karkat and Dave, and neither of them talked about the two kisses they shared. Not even Rose and Kanaya knew about it. (Well, for now at least.)


End file.
